(Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 8:54 pm)
A year ago if you had asked me if i was mormon, i probably would have given a slight nod or gone as far as to change the subject. I felt the church was right, i knew that the standards given by the church were correct, but i did not want to come across as a sissy. Consequently i simply followed my friends and ignored my conscience. Long story short, i was, in fact, a sissy.
I got a job that is employed by many questionable people. Many have good hearts but little will power. I worked closely with one of these people and i became very interested in her well being. I discovered that she had seen the missionaries and was somewhat familiar with the LDS church. I decided to use this to my advantage. So I prided myself in the fact that i was mormon and tried my very best to set an impressive example. I don't think it worked very well but during some of our conversations i could tell that she respected me and wanted to help me keep high standards. Most of the time :P
I was hanging out with friends and we decided to watch a movie. The movie chosen was rated R and i had recently decided to avoid those. Luckily our "host" had Clear Play. Unfortunately the remote's batteries were dead. We put them in the freezer to try and boost them for just enough juice to get the movie going. It actually worked. I protested that we turn on Clear Play. It was only rated R because of language, and honestly i would have watched it if a few months earlier i hadn't set a standard i did not want to break. So i insisted. I was ridiculed by all but one person. Who fortunately owned the remote :) She stuck up for me and did her very best to turn on the filters with the "frozen" batteries. I feel kinda bad cuz i don't think the clear play actually worked...but i gained an enormous amount of respect for this person, and am very grateful to her.
I don't know where i'm going with any of this honestly.
I guess i'm saying this cuz i've had a conversation with a friend where a few good, slightly odd, but fun people were referred to as "molly mormon". This concerned me because i always thought that she was a molly mormon. and i liked it. I think the problem is that too many people look for the wrong things when they're silently judging somebody (let's face it we all do). I should have spoken up then that while being a "bad girl" may be seductive and exciting at times, it is not attractive and yields little, if any, respect from any guy.
Overall, i would consider "molly mormon" to be a great compliment. so ya.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Concerning Megan Fox
(Thursday, July 23, 2009 11:44pm)
I found the transformers movies to be somewhat disappointing. The stories were lacking, the dialogue was kinda lame, and the acting was so-so. They were however stunning in the visual department. This includes the Transformers, the locations, and the lovely Megan Fox.
It is true she cannot act...but i really don't care. I doubt she is cast in any program because of her extraordinary talent. She is used as a sex symbol whose object is to lure men of all ages to pay time after time after time after time, to see her in whatever crumby movie, and mini skirt, she appears in.
So.
The Transformers movies are not that great. Megan Fox cannot act. But she is hot, and i will succumb to the obvious sex appeal of whatever movie she appears in any day :) but all shallow feelings aside, i do wish to establish that i do not confuse hot, with beauty.
That's it..
I found the transformers movies to be somewhat disappointing. The stories were lacking, the dialogue was kinda lame, and the acting was so-so. They were however stunning in the visual department. This includes the Transformers, the locations, and the lovely Megan Fox.
It is true she cannot act...but i really don't care. I doubt she is cast in any program because of her extraordinary talent. She is used as a sex symbol whose object is to lure men of all ages to pay time after time after time after time, to see her in whatever crumby movie, and mini skirt, she appears in.
So.
The Transformers movies are not that great. Megan Fox cannot act. But she is hot, and i will succumb to the obvious sex appeal of whatever movie she appears in any day :) but all shallow feelings aside, i do wish to establish that i do not confuse hot, with beauty.
That's it..
I Hate This Song
(Tuesday, June 16, 2009 4:03pm)
My good friend loves this song and knows that I hate it. She plays it a lot and sometimes just to bug me. It works too. ~ Well, when I drive I usually listen to my iPod but today I had to take my dads car out and I can’t use my iPod in his car. So I listen to whatever is on the radio. I’m flipping thru channels and this song comes on. I immediately change it and start listening to a song that I thoroughly enjoy. But the whole time I’m listening to my song, her song keeps popping up in my mind and I find it hard to resist the frequent urges to change back to the previous station. I finally give in. This song reminds me of her and some of the awesome times we’ve spent together while it was playing. ~ I tell people that I have no bias toward any particular genre when picking music. I simply listen to whatever makes me happy. Today I confirmed that if I want to stick with this notion, I will be forced to realize a hard and somewhat annoying truth. ~ I love this song
My good friend loves this song and knows that I hate it. She plays it a lot and sometimes just to bug me. It works too. ~ Well, when I drive I usually listen to my iPod but today I had to take my dads car out and I can’t use my iPod in his car. So I listen to whatever is on the radio. I’m flipping thru channels and this song comes on. I immediately change it and start listening to a song that I thoroughly enjoy. But the whole time I’m listening to my song, her song keeps popping up in my mind and I find it hard to resist the frequent urges to change back to the previous station. I finally give in. This song reminds me of her and some of the awesome times we’ve spent together while it was playing. ~ I tell people that I have no bias toward any particular genre when picking music. I simply listen to whatever makes me happy. Today I confirmed that if I want to stick with this notion, I will be forced to realize a hard and somewhat annoying truth. ~ I love this song
My eventual growth
( Tuesday, June 16, 2009 1:26am)
All bias to this particular stereotype aside, teens are monsters. Everybody knows, including teens, and everybody knows why. But few of our remarkable species actually know what I have come to realize, what seems like, much too late.
(This is not it)
-As a teen, I am always right. I do sometimes admit to being wrong, but for the most part, my opinions, intentions, and decisions, are correct. I assume I will eventually grow out of this and honestly, I’m looking forward to it, but it’s not happening now.
-As a teen, I rebel from the path that has been laid down by my parents and predecessors. Combined with the undeniable fact that my choices are gospel, many “wrongs” are interpreted as “rights”.
But I have removed myself from the teen environment, aka high school, and have unintentionally begun taking a more “adult” view on aspects of my life, and have made a few discoveries.
(This is it)
-I have discovered, in a manner similar to Newton discovering gravity, that the “guilty pleasures” that teens are famous for indulging themselves in, have a ratio of guilt to pleasure of about 100 to 1. And that these actions destroy intelligence, relationships, and character.
This discovery, although desirable, came at a very undesirable price. It cost about 80% of my nightly sleep, roughly 90% of my self respect, and a permanent regret that my intelligence, my talent, and my passion, was wasted while I “lived it up”.
-I have discovered that taking part in these temporary delights will break the hearts of the ones you love.
This discovery was made through seeing friends that I had grown to love, who had superior talent and impassable standards, slowly fall victim to twisted ideals. The beautiful talent that once cheated me out of breath is now a prisoner to chaos. And the standards that were once invincible and clear as glass, are now fragile and smudged by deception.
I feel, and I know, that I have let down the people I care about. Not just by pushing myself deeper into this pit of misery, but by dragging people in with me. I owe these people a debt, in the form of an apology that can never be given in its fullest.
I will, however, make an unyielding effort to undo the stupidity of my high school career.
Who knows, there may be hope for me yet.
All bias to this particular stereotype aside, teens are monsters. Everybody knows, including teens, and everybody knows why. But few of our remarkable species actually know what I have come to realize, what seems like, much too late.
(This is not it)
-As a teen, I am always right. I do sometimes admit to being wrong, but for the most part, my opinions, intentions, and decisions, are correct. I assume I will eventually grow out of this and honestly, I’m looking forward to it, but it’s not happening now.
-As a teen, I rebel from the path that has been laid down by my parents and predecessors. Combined with the undeniable fact that my choices are gospel, many “wrongs” are interpreted as “rights”.
But I have removed myself from the teen environment, aka high school, and have unintentionally begun taking a more “adult” view on aspects of my life, and have made a few discoveries.
(This is it)
-I have discovered, in a manner similar to Newton discovering gravity, that the “guilty pleasures” that teens are famous for indulging themselves in, have a ratio of guilt to pleasure of about 100 to 1. And that these actions destroy intelligence, relationships, and character.
This discovery, although desirable, came at a very undesirable price. It cost about 80% of my nightly sleep, roughly 90% of my self respect, and a permanent regret that my intelligence, my talent, and my passion, was wasted while I “lived it up”.
-I have discovered that taking part in these temporary delights will break the hearts of the ones you love.
This discovery was made through seeing friends that I had grown to love, who had superior talent and impassable standards, slowly fall victim to twisted ideals. The beautiful talent that once cheated me out of breath is now a prisoner to chaos. And the standards that were once invincible and clear as glass, are now fragile and smudged by deception.
I feel, and I know, that I have let down the people I care about. Not just by pushing myself deeper into this pit of misery, but by dragging people in with me. I owe these people a debt, in the form of an apology that can never be given in its fullest.
I will, however, make an unyielding effort to undo the stupidity of my high school career.
Who knows, there may be hope for me yet.
no title
( Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 10:38pm)
I wake up every morning surrounded by things, mostly things that have not moved in years. Most of these things I bought or asked for because I thought they would bring me happiness or joy. I have come to realize that I have never been more wrong in my life. I have learned and evolved over the past few years. Instead of only being happy when I have the newest phone, the coolest car, or being invited to the most parties, I revere the times when I and a good friend can drive nowhere singing to the radio, lay out on the grass talking about nothing, or get chased down by angry neighbors who don’t appreciate our sense of humor.
I have learned to appreciate not just material substance, but to be content with the things that cannot be purchased. Peace, love, friends, hope, and even music. Not just the plastic discs or 0’s and 1’s on a hard drive. When I say music I simply mean the sounds that make me happy. These sounds can range from a complex, harmonic waterfall from an acoustic guitar, to the simple outcry of my baby cousin calling my name. While I am content with the music of my current life, I never stop reaching to make it even better. I push myself so that ultimately my own hands will calm my day through my guitar, and I pray that, someday, when I hear my name being cried from day to day, it’s my own baby girl singing the sweet simple lyrics of, “daddy, daddy”.
Some of the simple things in life may be easy for me to achieve, and I may end up, one day, having everything that I’ve ever wanted. However, I believe in being content without repose. So when life seems to be at its peak, and when I wake up surrounded by love and laughter, I will thank God for allowing me to feel the way I feel, and carry on trying to make that peak just a little bit higher.
I wake up every morning surrounded by things, mostly things that have not moved in years. Most of these things I bought or asked for because I thought they would bring me happiness or joy. I have come to realize that I have never been more wrong in my life. I have learned and evolved over the past few years. Instead of only being happy when I have the newest phone, the coolest car, or being invited to the most parties, I revere the times when I and a good friend can drive nowhere singing to the radio, lay out on the grass talking about nothing, or get chased down by angry neighbors who don’t appreciate our sense of humor.
I have learned to appreciate not just material substance, but to be content with the things that cannot be purchased. Peace, love, friends, hope, and even music. Not just the plastic discs or 0’s and 1’s on a hard drive. When I say music I simply mean the sounds that make me happy. These sounds can range from a complex, harmonic waterfall from an acoustic guitar, to the simple outcry of my baby cousin calling my name. While I am content with the music of my current life, I never stop reaching to make it even better. I push myself so that ultimately my own hands will calm my day through my guitar, and I pray that, someday, when I hear my name being cried from day to day, it’s my own baby girl singing the sweet simple lyrics of, “daddy, daddy”.
Some of the simple things in life may be easy for me to achieve, and I may end up, one day, having everything that I’ve ever wanted. However, I believe in being content without repose. So when life seems to be at its peak, and when I wake up surrounded by love and laughter, I will thank God for allowing me to feel the way I feel, and carry on trying to make that peak just a little bit higher.
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